Our Christmas and New Year

Well it has been an interesting Christmas to say the least. Melanie and I got colds Tuesday night. So, I have been down from that, I try not to do to much because I do not want it to go into bronchitis or pneumonia or something like that. So, I was not really on top of my game this year. I was so grateful that all the shopping and cards, and boxes had been wrapped or mailed. We had a wonderful time at Jeff's parents house, we spent Christmas eve and day over there. I am grateful that family is close by, it was great.

I am feeling better and I am ready to go into the new year. I really believe that this year is going to be great. Our son will be graduating and family will be coming out this way to celebrate with Luke. And he will be graduating with his cousin Tasha, which will be so awesome to see them moving on in their lives.

So come on 2011, show us what you have for us this year and I know that it is going to be filled with God, family and friends. God bless all of you and have a great start to a new year!!!!! Love Tanya

glitter-graphics.com

This is a quote that one of my sparks sisters posted on my page this morning. I wanted to share it with all of you. I really like Norman Pearle.

If you want to get somewhere, you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up. The secret of life isn't what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you. Help other people to cope with their problems and your own will be easier to cope with.
Never use the word "impossible" seriously again. Toss it into the verbal wastebasket. Self-trust is the first secret of success. So believe in and trust yourself. Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.
Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself.
In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible. How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself - so always think positively. Go at life with abandon; give it all you've got. And life will give all it has to you.
~Norman Vincent Peale

Never say Impossible, say I'm possible!!!!

Love all of you, Tanya

Stress

This is a posting that I did on my Sparks page, I wanted to share it with all of you.

And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed." Joel 2: 25-26

I am a home school mom and on Wednesdays we have video day. We have Netflix instantly, I love going through the Movies and Documentaries. So, today we watched a documentary on Stress. This scientist/professor studied Baboons for thirty year, I know it is a stretch. Any way, during the documentary they were talking about these mom's who have disabled children. The mom's started a support group and were able to talk about what they were going through with their children. In our bodies we have what is called the Toulmin on the end of our DNA gene. As we get older, the Toulmin thins out. But if you are under stress, it will thin out quicker and cause us to grow older faster and earlier. So back to this group of mom's, they said in a study that as these women were baring their souls and healing through encouragement and loving each other, the Toulmin grew back. And this restored their lives.

So, as I was talking with the kids about this I thought of this scripture from Joel. That God will restore what we have lost, our health, thinner body, and taking control. Because that is the answer , taking control of our bodies. As we take control, God will restore us. Also, as we encourage each other and help one another with this journey, we will heal, take control and become filled with less stress. I am so glad I came back to SP, I know I can do this with all of your help, but most of all, I am taking control. Tanya

Letting Go

This year has been really pinnacle for me. Not only is my son graduating and heading out into the world. But God has me letting go of garbage that has been floating in my life for some time. I feel like some of those people on that show "Hoarders". I just sit back and let things pile up and I do not let them go or get rid of them. Sometimes I feel like I can not. But, God has been really clear about cleaning my heart, mind, soul and spirit along with my home. I think sometimes I get compliant with my life, I am really good about showing people there hang ups or helping others. But when it comes to my own life, I am null and void. So this year I am giving it back to God and starting to take on freedom. I hope you will come for the ride. First of all, I am a part of a new website called Sparks people. It is an online program to lose weight and other areas of life that need cleaning. It is an awesome website and I can not say enough of it. I encourage you to take a gander at it. Who knows, may change your life. Another thing I have started doing again is writing in my journal, I love to write. It gives me a direction and keeps me thinking, plus it helps with my thinking pattern and letting go of stuff. Of course, reading my bible and other material that will help in my spiritual journey. I have been drinking more water and watching what I eat. I think my weigh gain was due to my mental battle that goes on, I am going to try to keep plugging at this. I know I will lose weight. I am also going to take life one minute at a time if I have to. I do not want to rush life. It will come to it's end when it does, rushing to this and that will cause me to lose the moment. So, this is my journey so far, I will keep you updated as time marches on.

Love all of you and I think of you all often. I hope that you have a great week and I am praying for all of my blogging buddies. God bless ya, from Tanya

Bible Studies

Hi all, I wanted to share some awesome bible studies that I stumbled on. We are in between studies right now and I thought I would start looking at some areas that need some most improved with God. I am finding that I needed some help with Self Control. So here are some sights for you, this one has been my favorite so far. So, go here , just print it out and go verse by verse. It has five sections and so far it has been really good. I did not look at self control in all of these areas. Here is another bible study that I found on Self Control, this one is four lessons, it will start on the fourth lesson when you open the page. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and you will see the other three lessons. The site is called hem of his garment. Looks awesome, I will probably go there next.

Here is some bible lessons on Grace, go here. Here is lessons on "How God Interacts with Us," go here. This is my last website, this one you can sign up to get weekly studies to your email. I joined this one and I will be getting studies starting tomorrow. I will let ya know how it goes, go here if you would like to sign up.

I am finding that it is so important to be in the word of God, even if it means you need some structure. I hope you find what you are looking for. God bless all of you. Love Tanya

I have to just ramble for a bit. My heart has been so heavy and I have gone to God with it, but sometimes I need to see it in writing. Our son is going to graduate this coming May and I have placed him in God's hands. But these questions keep popping up in my brain and sometimes they are over whelming. Especially, when I see him making decisions on his future that really scare me. Some of the questions that I have burning in my head are: is he ready for the world, not just life skills or being able to pay bills, but is his soul ready. Will he run to God when things seem bleak or will he run to the world? Can he handle waiting until he is married, or will he let his friends sway him the other way? So much to think about, and of course there are so many other questions in my head. Okay, lets just face it, no matter how much I have lectured, talked, pleaded, cried out and even stayed silent, it is not my life and I am struggling with letting him go.

If he was closure to God, I think I could handle it, but I am struggle. I do not want to let him go and you know, I think I understand why God was so instant to have the Israelites clean out the promise land, he wanted to protect his children. He does love us so much and he does not want us to fall. So this is really hard to be in this position where God was with the Israelites, to watch them take on other gods and other paths that are not of him. He wants us to be there in the midst of Him and not let other distraction or gods get in the way. I see it. wow, I did not realize that my struggle was God's heart break for all of his children. Thank you God for not giving up on me and sending your son.

I realize that you have it God and I am going to trust you in all things. Amen

WHY by Nichole Nordeman

Looking on youtube tonight and I found this song by Nichole

Nordeman and I could not help myself. It is so beautiful and it

came from a child's view point. Really good.

I have to tell you about our two cats. The orange tabby is Jimmy and the all black one is Leix, do not ask. Anyways, we adopted Leix from the Nebraska Humane Society a couple of years ago and Jimmy moved in last year on Super bowl Sunday.







Well, the two of them really do not bug each other. Every once in a while they really get into some fights, but all in all they are good boys. Leix loves Melanie and he will follow her around the house. While she does school, he will sit in her lap.

Jimmy on the other hand is a loan wolf. He does not have time for any of us, unless we have food in our hands. But I have to say, he is an awesome mouser. The mice do not stay long in this house. We had cats when Melanie was little and Melanie started showing signs of being allergic. Well, a couple of years ago, she ask us for a cat and we told her that we would not put her through that pain. She prayed and showed no signs of being allergic. So, we got Leix. Actually, if you place Leix in the sun, he looks more of a chocolate than a black cat. It has been fun and sometimes I laugh so hard. I think about God and all of his wisdom in pets. We are so blessed to have two fun cats and two dogs. Everything relates back to God and I would not have it any other way. God bless all of you and have a safe weekend. Love Tanya

Well, I just wanted to let all who remember and some who may be interested, that Jeff is blogging again. Not sure how long, but you might as well head over that way and check it out. http://www.thatoneguysblogstuff.blogspot.com/ if you would like to check it out.

Jeff is my awesome husband, he is one of a kind. I hope you enjoy. Tanya

Well, it is that time again, the farmers are harvesting their fields and the air is turning a little more crisp. The night sky looks like millions of diamonds and the sweaters are coming out. I just love this time of the year, the leaves are in bright colors of yellow, red, orange and brown and the trees become naked for the winter. I have really been praying about change in my life, I believe change is important in my life. I never want to be the same person I was long ago. But as I have been praying, I am realizing that there are some questions in my heart that I will never get answers too. And I realize that these questions are very important to me, I do not believe that if I do not get an answer I will turn away from God, but I really wish that I had been at a place to ask my mother when she was alive.

I believe that it is important to be honest and just ask the questions. No matter how much it may hurt the other person. Silence is not as golden as it is claims to be. And most of all secrets, secrets can destroy a family, friendship, marriage and parenting in a matter of seconds. It is not good to hold on to things. And really, I believe that recently I have looked at the character I have become. I am not impressed with who I am, I could be more honest, less guilty and full of shame and more loving. And not one of these characters can I achieve on my own, they have to be achieved through Christ Jesus. I have also realized that some of my actions or behaviors stem right back to my relationship with God.

For example, when envy invades my heart, am I truly envious of the person or am I envious because I see blessing from God going to that person and I feel that I have not been blessed? How about anger, is it towards that other person or do I have a lack of trust with God? I believe God gave us His emotions, but they come right back to Him. It is interesting, I have seen God in a whole new way and I want every part of me to be worshiping God. It is amazing what I find when I open my heart more and more to Him, He was made to be worshiped and He deserves all my love. So, this fall is going to be different, I will trust in the Lord, worship with all my heart, soul, mind and body and lay all my questions and cares at His feet. Amen.

I can not believe that it has been so long since I have posted something on my blog. Well, here I am and with better news then my last two post. We have had a busy month, with school starting, Melanie's birthday and our twenty year Anniversary. School is going good and both kids are already counting down winter break, can you believe that.

So, Melanie turned 13 this last month and boy do we know that she is a teenager. She is so special and she is just a little lady. I am so shocked that she is now in her teens. Luke just recently got his drivers licence and he has been driving all over the place. We had Melanie's party at the park and it was really windy that day. We could not keep her candles lite. It was funny.



Jeff and I celebrated our Anniversary the same day as Melanie's party. We have been married for twenty years and I tell ya, it has not felt like it. The time goes so fast and before you know it, the kids are out and on their own. I am not looking forward to this year, Luke will be graduating and going out on his own. I love having my kids with me always. Of course, Jeff is such a big kid, and I guess I will not miss all of my kids. He always makes me laugh. He is so funny. I am so glad that we met, I never regret joining the Military and going to Germany. God had it all planned. When I think about it, I am so blessed to have a husband and two wonderful children. I hope that all of you are enjoying your beautiful fall days. I sure am, they have been such cool days. Wonderful outside. I am doing good and I hope to be able to share more news soon. Talk to ya all later, God bless ya from Tanya

Codependency, where did it start.

I have realized that I am always going to be on a journey with God, but along the way I have to open up my heart to Him. This opening of my heart is to let Him get in and start healing wounds that I have been holding on to for many years. Some of these wounds have made me not want to look at my life and jump into others.

My codependent behavior I believe started when I was young. I love my mother, and I would do anything for her, even if it was unhealthy. As I grew, I believe that I became dependent on others, not to follow, but to help and take control of their lives and issues. This becomes really dangerous and it starts causing me to take the focus off of God and I, and focus on other people's problems or behavior.

I had always suspected this, but it was not until recent how sever it was. I was taking a class on Adult Abuse and some things really came to the top. I had to walk away from the class until I get myself some help. A dear friend let me borrow this book call "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. The book is geared more for people who have drug and alcoholic family members. But seriously, codependent does not discriminate.

I would like to give you this definition that Melody gives from her book, "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." And in actuality, codependents really does not have a definition. This is one that Melody put together from all of the symptoms a codependent person has shown.

Well, this week I have been reading more of the book and I have to tell ya, I am giving it to God, I am letting go of control and laying at God's feet. Trust is where my heart needs to be, trusting in God. I have tried to please people, help people, bend over backwards for people. It is not people, it is me, and the more I let go and trust, the better friendships I will be blessed with. It is time to pray and let God have it. Trust is my issue and trying to take it by control is not it. Trust.

Realization of God

Well, I have to admit that last week was a very trying and long week. From the first of it all the way to Thursday, I suffered such great fear. I have never in my life experienced fear as I did. It was just paralyzing, I felt walls on all sides of me and finally on Thursday after so much crying out to God, I went to Jeff and fell apart. I really can not tell you the many events that happened. That is not important, I want to share with you what I learned through it all.

First, I learned that I needed to trust in God and His word. I have been in Lamentations this week and Jeremiah is crying out to God for Jerusalem. Jeremiah has not once blamed God for the fall, he knows were it began and even takes on some of the responsibility. The first two chapters are on the fall and captivity of Jerusalem, it is not until I reached chapter three that I see the hope of God. Such hope and such peace even through all the turmoil.

This is where my life took a turn, see God is always here for me. He is the one I go to first, before a friend, even before Jeff. But this week God made it very clear to me to go to Jeff and I needed to make Jeff know that I needed us to work as a unit. After I fell apart, Jeff opened up to me about things that he is struggling in and we prayed. I think sometimes we get so caught up in our roles as wife or husband that we forget that we are one.

The day that I took my vows, I do not think I took them as seriously as I do now. They are very strong words and the more I hear them at other weddings, or I think about them. The more I realize that they are not just a commitment to Jeff, but I made that commitment to God as well.

So, you may be asking yourself what does all this have to do with anything. Simple, if I had just trusted God at His word, fear may not of been as bad as it was. Jeff and I need to pray more together and start taking time for our marriage and work as a unit. And most of all, hope, hope through this time of our life and not let the world get it's foot in the door. To be covered by the Lord.

Bible and Journaling

Well, as I mentioned, Jeff and I can only go to church every other Sunday. So, on the Sundays that we can not go, Luke, Melanie and I are listening to Pastor Springer on the computer. This Sunday we listen to a sermon about "Bibles and journals." So here is the site if you would like to listen.

Pastor Springer talked about reading our bibles every day, figuring out a time in that day to read. While we are reading the word, have a journal near by and write down parts of the scripture that really touches us. I do journal, but honestly, I did not think about this. This is a new twist on journals. I always just write my feelings or things that I am going through. I will have to try this.

Pastor Springer took us to Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord."

The word Let in this scripture refers to opportunity. As we spend that time in the word, it will bless our lives and we will change in circumstances, not us trying to change the circumstance.

I was really blessed by this and I believe that it is time to really get back into the word. I have struggled lately with complaining and falling back into bad habits. The word, I know, will set me free. God bless all of you and I hope you all had a wonderful Sunday.

Witness, Disciple and Plant

Yesterday, Jeff and I took the kids to a new church in Council Bluffs. We had really been praying for direction since Jeff really wants to be in a church full of the King James Texts. We seen this church online and decided to go. The people were so wonderful and we sang from hymnals. I so missed that from the church I attended in High School. And when we got there, we were told that the orignal Pastor was in Sioux City preaching, but his son would preach the sermon. Pastor Chad Springer stood up and gave a wonderful sermon.

Pastor Springer directed us to the book of Acts. We read the passage of the conversion of Paul. Pastor reminded us that way before Paul was converted, God used him. While Paul was persecuting the church, the church split apart and scattered, which caused them to create more churches and also multiply those churches. Then God got a hold of Paul and converted him to do the good works of God withing those churches.

So, Pastor Springer talked about us as the church, going out and witnessing to the lost, then disciplining then. While multiplying and building new churches in our areas and other towns. This really spoke to Jeff and I. I am not sure where God is going to use us. But I was so reminded about fellowship with others, about witnessing and disciplining. It has been a while since I have broke out of my comfort zone. Any group activity is usually with other Christians that I know. I do not extend myself out much. But, I need to, I need to pray for those Devinne appointments again and let my God lead me.

So, it looks like we have a church home for now, we will only be able to go every other weekend, because of Jeff's job. But that is okay, because it will give me something to look forward to. Thanks for all of your prayers and I feel really blessed today. Also, really excited to get back into the word. Love Tanya

So, lately Jeff and I have been praying and talking about a new direction. Jeff really loves the King James Bible and frankly there are no churches in our area that teaches from it. So Jeff and his dad felt lead to start a home church. It was a great experience and I do believe that God used it in many ways. But lately, I have had it so heavy on my heart to get back into a church and have worship and fellowship with other women. I also would like the kids to meet new friends. So Jeff and I talked and then we took it to God.

Jeff then asked me to look for a church that teaches from the King James Bible. And God did provide, we found a church in Council Bluffs called the Open Door Baptist. We have not gone yet, Jeff has to work every other weekend and he wants me to wait so he can go with us. But this morning I listened to one of the sermons on the website. Pastor Springer delivered an awesome sermon on Generating Faith.

It really spoke to me and I again was reminded about Faith is by hearing and only by the word of God. Here is the site if you would like to listen to it. Heather , when he talked about Gideon, I thought of you. So keep praying for our family. I love all of you.

I have been praying lately to God about this new change to lose weight. I wondered why it has been different. The way I look at food or the lack of running to food every time something bad, good, or indifferent happens to me. But I will be honest, it has been different, is it my age, is it all the healing that God has done? I could not pin point it, then this morning while thinking on it, I had a revelation. Faith, my faith has taken a first gear, I got it.

The scripture talks in so many passages about faith healing, faith making you strong. My faith believes that Jesus is the healer and that God is my soverity. I can not go through life with out Him. I could try, but frankly, why? Faith healed the women with the issue of blood, the man who was blind and even the centurion's slave. And for me to sit here and drill faith down your throat is preposterous. You just have to get there on your own. I could never make you see what I see, I just wanted to share what God has shown me.

Faith is just knowing, like the women reaching out for Jesus' robe. She knew that she would be healed. It is amazing what God reveals when you are ready. And it is not just knowledge, it is penetrating the heart. It is awesome.

Wow, it has been a while since I blogged. I did not realize that this summer was going to be so busy. We have been doing school and Melanie was in a play. I have been taking a class on Saturday mornings. Jeff has been working a lot more hours this summer then he did last summer and God has been protecting us. Luke is working at Pizza hut and he also have had more hours this summer. I have been working on losing weight, I have dropped 33lbs and I am going to keep going. I recently bought a book by Jillian Michaels and it is amazing. She goes into great detail on the metabolism and how if the hormones are out of whack the metabolism will not work. See, I do not think it is bitterness or even an addiction anymore for me. I believe God has cleaned out my house and I am free from addictions. But I was still struggling, so when this book arrived and I started reading, I realized that my food was killing me. I believe from the first time that I overate, I started to destroy my hormones. My hormones even control the center that wants food, cravings and needing foods that are not good for me.

I have given up diet sodas, the artificial sweeteners are helping to destroy my hormones and so many other bad things to my body. I am drinking all natural teas and more water. I even gave up milk and I am drinking Almond milk or Acidophiles milk. It has really helped with some of the craving. I am still having some cravings, but I have not totally gone on the program yet. I do feel better and I was able to get up the other day and put my walking dvd in and did three miles. I cried right at the third mile, "I made it".

I highly recommend this book and I am so glad that I stumbled upon it.

Melanie's Job this week

Well, this week Melanie is taking care of some chickens for our friends. At first, I really did not think she would be able to do it. And at first she really did struggle with it.










But now, she love the chickens. She can not wait to get out there and take care of them. She even wants one. I do not think so. But she thinks that they are really cool.

And she is taking good care of the chickens. They are really good. Except the day that one grabbed my finger. They are good chickens and Melanie and I are having a blast taking care of them.

Melanie

I have to tell you about my last couple of weeks and the word Grace. There has been a couple of actions that I seen some friends not extend grace and I thought that maybe grace should of been extended. I have also seen this article about this teen who was suspended because he wore a rosary to school. I have also seen my child not extend grace to each other. This has had me sit back an wonder to myself, have I been extending grace lately. I would have to be real honest here and the answer would have to be NO. How can I even judge some one else for not doing the same thing that I have not been willing to do. It is not my place to judge others, but it is my place to examine myself. I have to remind myself here that if Jesus felt the same way that I have been acting, would he have died on the cross for me? I mean after all, we are created after their image. Are we not suppose to act like them. I got their feeling, emotions, my form is the same as theirs. I am created in their image, you can find this all through out the first nine chapters of Genesis, and I am sure it is quoted more in the bible. Then we were given dominion over the whole earth. This important, we are to have grace, mercy and love towards each other. This especially means me, I can not expect this from others if I am not willing to do it myself. So, here it goes, I am going to take the first step and forgive those who have done things to me, or that I have not agreed with and I am moving on. How are we to reach the lost, if we do not extend grace? I need to extend grace, I love my Lord enough to do His will. Thank you Lord, for the grace you extended me. Tanya

What if?

This is me on my graduation day in 1989. I was thinking about this as my niece was graduating from her High School. Have you ever sat back and thought about what you would do if you were given another chance to go right back here on your graduation day? And all of your future was wiped out, you knew nothing about it. Would you make the same choices, would you do the same thing you did after High School? See, it would be impossible to do the exact same thing. Something would be changed and your future may change with it. See, there would be no way that I personally could go back. God had changed my path at least three different times in order for me to be in Germany on the day I was to meet Jeff. If one thing was changed or I had decided to not go into the Army, I would of never met Jeff. It is weird, I believe God had my life completely planned out for me, I just did not know it. And half the time I did not even realize it until I was sitting down at someone else's graduation or wedding thinking about it. God had His hand in my life from the day I was born. Interesting, I am so amazed by this journey that I thought that I was making and I have realized that God has made it with me. He has orchestrated it on so many levels. I am sure that if for some reason I did go back, God would again set everything up for me to meet Jeff. But it would all be different and it may change my future. But of course I would not know that it changed, because I did not know that I had a life already. I think that I would of changed or hope that I would of changed somethings. But all in all, I would not want to go back. I love the life that I am living right now so, I have decided that the "What ifs" do not count any more. Because it will always be the "God did"!! Love ya, from Tanya

Forgiveness is a must.

I have been sitting back and just basking in Jesus arms through this time of weight loss. He has shown me that I have forgiven everyone in my life but me. I have spent so many years on the yo yo machine of dieting and I have never forgiven my bad actions or falling off the wagon. So, lately I have been asking God to show me what part of my life I have not forgiven and so much has surfaced. I have realized that I have held on to so much about me and that is what keeps me running to the fridge. It is not my past or people in my life. It has been me and how I react to my actions it. I have also realized that in order to loose weight and keep it off, I have to not diet but to have a new life style change. I do not want the weight to come off really fast, I need to be slow at it. If I get to impatient I will gain it all back plus some. I am so close to being under my 300, I just want to see more loss, I do not want self destruction to get in my way. It is time to forgive myself and take it all to God. I have also realized that I am not a positive person. I can get really negative really quickly. This is also an area that I really believe I need to take to God and ask Him to help me with my unbelief. So it is time to move forward, will I fall, yes, but I will forgive myself and move on. Moving towards the mark, Jesus Christ and freedom. Victory is on the horizon. Tanya

Fun Ways to Loose Weight

I want to tell ya about an exercise that will burn lots of calories and you will have an awesome time doing it. It is called Laughing. I am reading this book called, "All is Forgiven, Move on" by Janice Taylor. Janice says that you can burn more calories laughing then several minutes on a rowing machine or an exercise bike. She also recommends this website that sells Cd's of people laughing and the money goes to a teen organization. This organization helps build teen self esteem and stop bulling. Here is the website www.heyugly.org(Unique Gifted Lovable You). So sit down with your family and laugh until you feel like you are going to split. It will be the funniest and most rewarding exercise you can do for yourself. Love all of you and have a great day, from Tanya

Revelation

I have to share with ya what God has revealed to me besides my worship of food. One day I was in our bedroom looking into one of those mirrors that is full length. I was looking at my body and I was really getting upset about how bad it looked. At that moment I realized that it is not my body that is the problem, it was my mind. See, my body is like the battle zone from what my mind decides to do. Yes, my body also craves things, but it started with my mind. If my mind, heart and soul are not targeted on God, my body is going to take the brunt of it. I realized that my whole body has to be targeted on my God. He is the only one who will get me through this. He has the strength and the power. And in turn He will give me the strength and the power. I will be given the same power that God gave Jesus to rise, (Mark 16). I just have to tap into that and focus on God. So this battle field needs to be given to God and let Him do the rest. Yes, for some reason this time it is so easy and I know it is because of God. In fact I am not even afraid of my fall back from loosing so much weight and not being able to finish it. I am going to be one hundred and sixty four pounds. I hope to break three hundred next week and I will make two hundred and eighty pounds by my next doctors visit. And when I look at my body, I look at it differently, it is all about my mind and where it is. Right now it is focused on God and that is where it is going to stay. God bless ya and have a great Memorial weekend. Love Tanya

High Places

I have not talked about the bible lately or what God has shown me. So today I would like to talk about High Places and how they can get in the way of my walk with God. In the bible High Places are areas that caused the kings and people to worship the wrong "gods". If you look at 1 and 2 Kings or Isaiah, it goes into great detail on how these high places became stumbling block for the kings and hurt the kingdom.
I have to be honest here, my high places or stumbling blocks have always been food and money. I can not even tell you how far I have crashed with food. I am a border line diabetic, I lost my appendix last September, I have had womanly problems because of my food issues. It has become such a god to me, I almost died twice, because I would not give it up. But lately, I have really been set free from this small god. I have not really wanted to overeat or put it before anything. My blood sugars have just fallen down to normal ranges and I have dropped 21 pounds. And if I drop 21 more pounds, I may be able to get off all of my diabetic drugs. Which I am so tired of taking. But this is not the point, the point is, I let this small not so important High Place run my life. I wonder is it this important? Yes, food is important because it is the nourishment that we need daily. But when it is used like a drug, there is a problem. But I have to tell you, I totally believe that God has delivered this area of my life and made me realize that food is just nourishment. It is not to be used as a drug. I have really been praying to have God help me with my unbelief and He did. I see it now as just God, not food. I challenge you to check out the old testament and look up all of these high places and what it did to the Israelites. It is a real eye opener. Talk to ya all later, love Tanya

On to the next step.

So yesterday, my niece Brooke Rose Seering graduated from Red Oak High School. Here she is pictured with our cousin John Mertz. I stood back and I took in the events that unfolded the whole weekend. John's party on Friday, Brooke's party on Saturday and then graduation. It was so overwhelming for me and I wondered how overwhelming it was for them. It is hard sometimes for me to grasp twenty years ago at my own graduation. But there it is two new people entering into the world of work and life. I wonder what they will do? Who will they marry and how many children they will have. It is going to be great to sit back and watch their adventures.

I have to tell you, besides being overwhelmed by the graduation itself. I was also overwhelmed by all of Brooke and Luke's friends that did graduate this year. There was Chris Lombard, Skylar Barker, Holly Beemer, Sam Hansen, Heather Adams, Larry Pearce, Juan Ramos, Bradley Telschow, and many more that Brooke and Luke grew up with. I feel so old and yet all of these kids are starting out with their lives.

Next year our son Luke will be graduating. Oh my, I am not sure I am ready. I was barley ready for this one. But I have to remember time marches on and I just need to trust in the Lord. He is going to carry these kids.

Dear Lord,

I come to you today in petition for these kids that graduated into life yesterday. I pray that as they go, that you would be the prominent one in their lives. That you would show them direction, guidance and love. Lord, I know that you love them and all they need to do is reach out to you. I love you Lord and I love these kids. They are always in my prayers. Amen.

God bless all of you and have a great day and week. Love Tanya

For all you Face book friends, this note was from my Blog: www.walkdailyfortruth.blogspot.com

My mind

I have been doing this bible study called Breaking Free. I did it some time ago with some awesome gals. But I was asked again to do another try with it. So any ways, I have been slowly going through this workbook and I have to admit, it is really challenging me. I did a lesson today on High Places. If you look up High Places in the bible, they will refer to the places that everyone one went to worship. And the worship became idolistic. But most of all, the fact that they would not destroy or get these High Places out of their minds. It was like a drug that they could not get rid of or destroy.

So, I have been thinking about this? What exactly in my life has caused me such High Places and I can not get rid of it. Well, right off the bat, I can tell you two, money and food. And then as I confessed this so many others came to my attention. I have been idling people and past events, friendships and so much more. It became overwhelming that I had to walk away from the study and pray. I have realized that I am an obsessed person and I have let so many idols take up my life. And I only want one High Place and that is God.

So pray for me, this is where the rubber meets the road and I could walk away or stand firm and rely on my God. He is actually the only one who can get me through all of this. I can not walk away now, I need Him and only Him. So pray and I will pray for you. Because every day life can be so hard, yet in the end, the one set of foot prints in the sand are His. And that is because I relied only on Him to do it with me. Everyone else is support and love, but only God is a life preserver. Amen

The day with the Family

Well, yesterday Jeff and the kids and I went to Jeff's parents house. We had church and then celebrated Teresa and my birthday and Mother's day. We had a blast and it was so fun. Jeff got me one of those picture frames that can store pictures, music and videos on. I can not wait to get a card for it. It has been a real busy time here, with our niece graduating and all the celebrations and birthdays going on. It always seems like Spring and Fall are our busiest times. But I am so glad that it is so. We really love to be together and it is great to celebrate anything.

So, I turned 40 this year and I have to tell ya, everything seems so different. I look at things really different then I did in the past or even last year. I realized that my mind has been my deadliest enemy. I have let so much intrude in my thinking, you know sticking thinking. For the first time in my life I am letting so much go and I am letting God have it. I have realized that I was created by God and everything else is garbage. Relationships, family, life is to be adorned by God and anything that comes my way is either for God or against God. But my focus needs to be on God. It has been an awesome journey and I am so excited to see what He has for me everyday. God bless all of you and I hope that you have a wonderful Mother's day or that some mother in your life is adorned by your love for them. Love all of you from Tanya

My Special day with my family

Well, Wednesday was my birthday. My 40th to be exact. I can not believe that I am now 40. Does it bother me? No I am really excited to keep going on in my journey with God and my family.

I remembered when my mother turned forty. It really bothered her. I am not that way, my age has really never bothered me. I am so grateful for that. I guess, I just believe that every year gets me one year closure to Jesus. Not that I do not enjoy my family, I do, but I am so excited to see Jesus.

Well anyway, Jeff, Luke and Melanie got me a cake and a bouquet of flowers and a Snuggy. I am so excited to use it. I was so surprised that they did that for me. It made me feel so special. I love them so much.

So then I went to my ladies group and they surprised me with a cake also. How special I felt, it is awesome to be surrounded by so many people in my life. I love ya all and I hope that you all have a great weekend and I am praying for you all, Love Tanya. Oh by the way, Lori, thanks again for the clothes, I am so loving them.

A Funny but true sign

My daughter and I go on this site that you can down load pictures for your cell phones. This morning I was looking up pictures with sayings on them or pictures with signs on them and I ran across this one. Have a great weekend everyone!! From Tanya

Recipes for Life

Last September we were moving Jeff's aunt Barb to the nursing home. Well, recently she has passed and gone to be with Jesus. So, I was going through some items and I found this cook book from Union Carbide 1971. Union Carbide eventually became EverReady Battery Company. It is now closed and even the building is torn down. So, I was going through this cook book and in the back of it was a section call Recipes for Life. I started to go through the little recipes and realized that they were little poems with a recipe kind of twist. I would like to share some of them with you.

"Lost, A Word"

I Lost a cross word yesterday

Unguarded from my tongue.

It slipped into the atmosphere

Then Trouble had began.

A dozen others followed it

They filed the room with grief.

No matter then what word was said

It could not bring relief.

If I had only stopped that word

before it crossed my lips.

My day had been a happy one

and sweet with fellowship.

I think I wasted yesterday

hurt self as well as friend.

Today I want to watch my words

and let not one offend.

"Happiness Cake"

1lb. Kindness

1/4 lb. Charity

1 cup Helping Others

3 cups Good Humor

1/2 cups Thoughtfulness

3 cups Laughter

dash of Peppiness

large portion of Love

Mix well and swerve at all time

by, Ruth Speed

There were many more, but those two really hit me. I loved all of them and we should bake happiness and joy into our lives and our families. Before I go, I would like to post a couple of things that I am grateful for. I am grateful for God, with out Him, I would be nothing. I am grateful for Jeff, he keeps me in line and shows me love. I am grateful for Luke and Melanie, they give me reasons to be joyful everyday and to laugh. I am grateful to laugh and smile, it brings such excitement into my life and most of all, I am grateful for me. I am so glad that God pursued me and made me who I am today. Love all of you and have a great spring!!!!!

Seeking

I thank all of you for your uplifting comments. I really enjoy them and yes Nana, we do need to keep each other accountable.

I have been journaling again and I really have been real through this journal. I have decided that if I am going to loose weight, I need to be real with myself and God. Even if it is painful, I need to do it to heal and loose.

I am really looking at when the bad habits started, it started when I was little. I remember just stuffing my feelings and running to food. Of course, my mom also comforted me with food. Food has always been a big part of my life, but most of all, I have not been honest with myself or others. I have always just stuffed what I felt, I did not share with people how I really felt. I would tell people what I think they would want to hear, but really I did not tell them how I really felt.

Lately, I have been able to tell my feelings and not what they want to hear, but how I really feel. I have said it in love and not in anger, but I am tired of feeling like I am walked on. And really this stemmed from my mom. I wanted her to love me so much that I told her what she wanted to hear. I am now going to pray about it and then I am going to confront it in love. And I do have some loose ends that I need to address and mend.

So for now, I am not going to stuff my feelings and then fill it with food. I am going to take out the middle man, food, and bring in the ultimate man God. Thanks for your prayer and the encouragement. I need it. Love Tanya

I love spring, the new grass, the buds on the trees and the bulb plants peaking through the ground. I find it interesting that the new growth and the newness of life during the spring months. Well, lately I have been really pondering my body and how I have not been really taking care of it. Fear has surfaced like fat in boiling water and I have never realized the fear that is in me. I have spent so many years running to food and spending lots of money. It is so comforting to me, but on the other hand, I really want to turn over a new leaf and be more obedient to my Father. It is just letting go of control and letting God take care of it. I am not sure where God is going to take me from here, I am not going to get hasty and quick to make decisions. I really believe that just know that I am having this problem is the first step. I also realize that I need to flood myself with the word of God. Holding what He says higher than what I want. Well, like they say, "Time for Spring cleaning." and I believe this is true. I appreciate all of you and I adore your prayers for me. I will be looking for an accountability partner. It is time to be accountable, so I will be praying for that right person and I am praying to take my flesh under control. It does not need to have everything it wants, because God is greater. I love you all and I will keep you updated. Love always Tanya

Mary Kay Career Conference 2010

Last weekend Teresa, Tiffany, Mindee and I went to Des Monies for a couple of days for the Annual Mary Kay Career Conference. It was so awesome. This is Stacie, she is a National Director and an awesome lady. She gave her I Story and shared some tips on how to further our businesses. She is a down to earth kind of woman and I really enjoyed her. This was taken on Friday night and we had a blast dancing and watching all the ladies who worked hard get a chance to dance across the stage. Teresa even got to dance across the stage because she earned her Red Jacket. It was so awesome. This next picture was taken on Saturday.

Mindee, Teresa and I all had seperate classes. I learned so much and met so many wonderful gals. This is really a great business with wonderful women.

It was a great time

My Good Friends

I have always been really blessed with my friends. I have always had support, especially when I have struggled through something. But just in this week, God has used me in mighty ways to be there for my friends. I have realized that friends are awesome to laugh with and joke around. To pray for and to reminisce on our past. But friends are also awesome in times of troubles, times where they need advice or times to let them cry and question why. How blessed to be a part of their lives and be there to hold them up in prayer. Or to just hold them while they cry. I feel blessed to be on this side this time. And to all my friends who are struggling through things, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and then I am praying for you. I am in your corner and I am holding the handkerchief for you. I love each and every one of you.

God is so good, He wants us to go to Him. He wants us to lay all of our problems at His feet. I have realized that only God can get us through. That also means how to be a good friend, one who prays and not gossips, one who loves without judgement and one who excepts with pure love for the other. Am I perfect in this area, no, it will take time and practice. I am grateful for the practice God is giving me. And I will lay all my friends in God's lap and pray for each and every one of them. I am going to love. Love Tanya

I am Christ Bride

I have been down the last couple of days with a cold. It has really wiped me out. During this time I have been really praying about what God wants from me. But one of the things He has been reminded me of is the fact that I am His bride. And that I need to be ready. It was also mentioned in the Breaking Free Book that a group of us are doing right now. I really have looked to Him with different eyes and the Word Of God has really hit my heart like and arrow to a bull's eye. I do need to be ready for Him, I believe the time is nearer than any of us can even imagine. I am honored to be His bride and I am so at awe at Him and why Me? I am blessed and in love with a wonderful Creator, Awesome Redeemer and Healer. And I will be up in no time with His help. May my God be with you and always with you, for He is awesome. Love Tanya

The Spirit vs the flesh

I really love to watch Kent Hovind, he is a great creationist who really loves the Lord. If you do not know who Kent Hovind is go here . Any ways, the reason I posted this video is, at the end of it he does a rubber band demonstration. The demonstration is really good and it really spoke to me the other day when we watched the video again. Remember to turn off my music so that you can hear it. Enjoy.

I am more up beat then I was in my last post. I do think that God has been showing me more about myself, It is a journey. I have to share something that happen to me this morning and made me look at my Lord in such a different way. In John 11:1-44, it is the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. I realized two things while reading this, the first thing I realized it that I am like Mary, I will sit and bask in God's glory. I love testimonies of others, I love to read God's word and see revelations in my life and I love to see the movement of Jesus upon lost people. I am right up there with Mary. I would of found the oil and anointed Jesus just like Mary did, I would of even been on the verge of obsession with Jesus. Another thing that I realized by reading this passage is the fact that Jesus is the Resurrection and life, I am not sure how many times I read this and this morning I got it.

John 11:24-27 "Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day. Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believe in me though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever live and believe in me shall never die. Believes thou this? She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ. The Son of God, which should come into the world."

Jesus is the resurrection, he could raise the dead right there and right now if he chose to. Why wait until the day of resurrection, He would just do it. Why not, He is God, He can do what he wants as long as it glorifies His Father. It just made so much sense. Why have I not seen it before? Well, I was not ready, I was full of self and lately I have realized that this flesh has got to be controlled by the spirit. And through these revelations I have seen lots of things. It has really opened my eyes to the power of my Lord. Awesome.

So when you go to the bible, let the Spirit lead you, you might be surprised at what you walk away knowing. After all knowledge is power and wisdom comes from the Lord. Amen

Oh, I can not believe that I have not blogged in so long. I think it is time to start back up. I have felt like I am just existing right now and I need to get my feelings out. We had a dear relative die this week, and I have to tell you I am so happy for her because she is sitting next to Jesus right now. But, I am also upset with myself for letting business stop me from seeing her while she was alive. I have dealt so with this guilt all week. I know that guilt is not of God and my relative would not be so happy to know that this is my sorrow right now. But I have to confess that guilt was there before she died. So much has been going on in my life and I have felt guilty about many things. The board and I have made the decision to close the doors of the center. Now, we will be available for emergencies. But the doors of the pregnancy center will be closed. And I feel guilty about this. Of all the people that have been directors I closed it. It is eating me inside and I feel like I have not only let others down, but that I let God down. And through all of this guilt I have built a wall of shame around myself. Like the scarlet letter, I have a big G planted on me. I really need your prayers for healing and I just need to pull down this wall. It is something I am going through right now. And I hope that all of you do know that God closes window and opens door.

I have also learned this week that this is where satan gets me. He gets me with guilt. He uses everything to make me stumble. My conversations, my relationships, my feelings towards God. He knows just what to do, and frankly I am tired of it. I need prayer for this bondage to be broken. I am tired of this bondage and I want a new life and be a new creation in God. Please just pray for me this week. I hope that this touches someone, God has many promises of freedom from bondage and I believe that guilt is one of them. God bless all of you and thanks for the prayers. Love Tanya

*Note: there was a misspelled word and it made the post look weird. I am writing Thank you notes to women who have let me pamper them through Mary Kay. Sorry.

I have been thinking about praising and Thanking God. When I was in basic training in the Army, every Sunday I would go to church and come back to the barracks and write countless letters to friends and family. I remember at the time asking for prayers to make it through and I would thank God everyday that I made it through another day of basic. I am now writing out Thank you notes to women who have given me a chance to pamper them. It is so cool to write out my feeling to them and let them know how much I appreciate them. I wonder to myself how often I do this to God.

How many times in a day do I thank God? I fall short sometimes in thanking God for every opportunity. For instance, how many times do I thank God for a green light, when in actually I should thank God for that red light. It gives me time to pray or look around me. Thank God for every breath that I take or thanking God for those diving appointments.

I have found things about myself lately that I am not sure I really like. I have been thanking my Lord for these revelations. In actuality I can not change on my own, I have to have God with me the whole way. Thank yous and praise are so important in my walk with God, I am thankful for breath and red lights. Most of all I am thankful that God shows me my downfalls. How could I ever change to be a better person if I did not listen to God.

In the end, I am not perfect and I do not want anyone to view me as such. I am a person who is walking this earth until the day I am face to face with my awesome savior. Until then, I am going to get to know Him and I am going to live my life to please only Him. I THANK YOU GOD for showing me all of your ways. Love Tanya

Warning for Iowa

Iowa Right To Life has sent out this warning and I posted it on The Pregnancy Centers Blog I find it a little disturbing.