Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Not what I expected

I am sitting here in front of my computer thinking about what to say. I have a hundred things strolling in my mind. But honestly not one of them is something I want to share. I have really had a hard time expressing my self in words lately. I am not sure why, I love to write, I love journal writing. But honestly, I am not sure what I expect. Maybe it is not about what I want, but what He wants. I am reading a book right now called, "The Ragamuffin Gospel." I guess sometimes my day become mundane and I am not sure what I need from it. "Why am I afraid to dance? I love rhythm and music, grace, song and laughter. I want to raise my arms in the air and yell I am free, I am free. Twirl around and smell the air. But I do not, I stand straight and I do not move. I mourn relationships and I say good-bye to loved ones. But what about in between? What do I do, how do I live? I have to live for God, I have to further God's kingdom, not that I have too, but that I desire too. I want it more than breath, or air, or sky, or creation, but to feel Him in my heart and dancing with me.

Feeling the safety of His arms and the thoughts melting away from me. I looking at Him and He looking at me, the creator, the ultimate provider. He is everything, Not what I expected in life, but He is there and He waits for me to be there also. Amen

Sunday, June 14, 2009

What a wonderful day to worship the Lord!!!!!!

Some people will Worship through fellowship. This was taken a couple of years ago at my Dad and Step Mothers house. Dad, Sandee my Stepmom, me, Melanie, Dad's best friend Terry, My sister Charlene and her daughter Tasha.

And this is my little brother Byron and his family, Karleen, Amanda and Josh. Are they not so sweet.

Some people will worship Him with Prayer, 1 Thess 5:17

Some people will worship with song. This song is the most beautiful song. I know that the lyrics will come up on the screen, but you have to see them laid out.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this Solid Ground
Firm through the fierest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My conforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He arose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
THis is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand
We sing this at our Home Church all the time, it is a really awesome worship song. Have an awesome day of worship in any way that you do it. God bless you all.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Random thoughts

I have not done a random thought in sometime. I have been doing some praying and working on a workbook about women of the bible. The first women of the bible was Eve. The study talked about how women have a hard time finding contentment, I am not sure of the connection between Eve and contentment, except maybe for her disobey the tree thing. But, it made me think about my discontentment in life. When we first moved to Red Oak, I really thought it would be for a short time and then we would be back in Washington State with my family. It was for some time that I was not settled here and I plugged Washington to Jeff as many times as I could. Then there was contentment, of course it only came from God. He got me to that place. But, I have to be honest that lately, I have not felt content. I am not sure why and I can tell you that the place I desire is not Washington State. I am not sure what it is, but my heart is desiring a move. Just be praying for me and that I listen to God and not my flesh. And really it is not bad, I believe that all of us need to be at a place where we want to get out of our boxes and be ready for anything God sends our way. Of course, this is up to Jeff also. I would not leave without my family. But, I am feeling it. What ever it is, God will take care of it.

While reading the bible lately, I have been praying for the leading of the Spirit. Not, using my interpretation of the word, but of the spirits. I have also been just believing that every word of the bible is true. It has really made quit an impression on my heart. God has so many rules, blessing, promises and revelations within the word. I am so amazed by it. Why this morning as I was doing my bible study, I realized that God promised Abraham and Sarah a child, and God planned for Issac. How interesting, so we are all planned? Yes, by God we are, it maybe a little more of a surprise to our parents, but not of God. This is very interesting to me, I know most of you probably already knew this. But, it was news to me and it really hit in a mighty way to my heart. Thank you God.

My sister and I have been really working on getting closer. It is so freeing to be able to talk with her and be honest with her. I am looking forward to being with her more. In fact, she has asked me to be there for the birth of her first grandchild and my first grand niece or nephew. So, in December we are going to Georgia. This is going to be great. I have not been to Georgia, Jeff has. I am looking forward to it.

Life, it really gets you down sometimes, but God always lifts you up. Have a great weekend and thank you for listening to my rambling. Love ya all.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Update on the book, "The Shack"

A couple of post ago I recommended a book called "The Shack." As I had not gone through the book or read it to the fullest, I feel that I need to recant about it. I had to put it down about the six chapter. I think that it was confusing my faith and I need to tell you that it is not a book that you should read. The bible is a good place to go and there are other books that are fun, like Pilgrims Progress or Le Voyage by Sandi Patti. The Shack, just caused the Holy Spirit within me to scream out and tell me to walk away. I fell like I need to be careful about who I listen to. I am finding that I need a solid ground of faith and I really need to do more research before I even get started in it. That is one thing I am really not wanting to do and that is lead anyone away from our Jesus. He is so awesome and He deserve such praise and not confusion. After all, He is not the author of confusion, 1 Corinthians 14:33.

I also wanted to let all of you know, that for a while now I have been the acting volunteer at the Pregnancy Center here in town. I started out as a board member, then an advisor and I am now the director. Recently, I have been asked to be a paid part time director. I really had to pray about this and I felt the Lord calling me to the position. So now it is in the works for me to be paid as a part time director of the center. I am really excited about this. If you scroll down my blog to my dear friends section, I am working on the blog for the center. I would love to hear from you. God bless you and I am thinking of all of you always. Love Tanya