I have to just ramble for a bit. My heart has been so heavy and I have gone to God with it, but sometimes I need to see it in writing. Our son is going to graduate this coming May and I have placed him in God's hands. But these questions keep popping up in my brain and sometimes they are over whelming. Especially, when I see him making decisions on his future that really scare me. Some of the questions that I have burning in my head are: is he ready for the world, not just life skills or being able to pay bills, but is his soul ready. Will he run to God when things seem bleak or will he run to the world? Can he handle waiting until he is married, or will he let his friends sway him the other way? So much to think about, and of course there are so many other questions in my head. Okay, lets just face it, no matter how much I have lectured, talked, pleaded, cried out and even stayed silent, it is not my life and I am struggling with letting him go.

If he was closure to God, I think I could handle it, but I am struggle. I do not want to let him go and you know, I think I understand why God was so instant to have the Israelites clean out the promise land, he wanted to protect his children. He does love us so much and he does not want us to fall. So this is really hard to be in this position where God was with the Israelites, to watch them take on other gods and other paths that are not of him. He wants us to be there in the midst of Him and not let other distraction or gods get in the way. I see it. wow, I did not realize that my struggle was God's heart break for all of his children. Thank you God for not giving up on me and sending your son.

I realize that you have it God and I am going to trust you in all things. Amen