My codependent behavior I believe started when I was young. I love my mother, and I would do anything for her, even if it was unhealthy. As I grew, I believe that I became dependent on others, not to follow, but to help and take control of their lives and issues. This becomes really dangerous and it starts causing me to take the focus off of God and I, and focus on other people's problems or behavior.
I had always suspected this, but it was not until recent how sever it was. I was taking a class on Adult Abuse and some things really came to the top. I had to walk away from the class until I get myself some help. A dear friend let me borrow this book call "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. The book is geared more for people who have drug and alcoholic family members. But seriously, codependent does not discriminate.
I would like to give you this definition that Melody gives from her book, "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." And in actuality, codependents really does not have a definition. This is one that Melody put together from all of the symptoms a codependent person has shown.
Well, this week I have been reading more of the book and I have to tell ya, I am giving it to God, I am letting go of control and laying at God's feet. Trust is where my heart needs to be, trusting in God. I have tried to please people, help people, bend over backwards for people. It is not people, it is me, and the more I let go and trust, the better friendships I will be blessed with. It is time to pray and let God have it. Trust is my issue and trying to take it by control is not it. Trust.