Seeking

I thank all of you for your uplifting comments. I really enjoy them and yes Nana, we do need to keep each other accountable.

I have been journaling again and I really have been real through this journal. I have decided that if I am going to loose weight, I need to be real with myself and God. Even if it is painful, I need to do it to heal and loose.

I am really looking at when the bad habits started, it started when I was little. I remember just stuffing my feelings and running to food. Of course, my mom also comforted me with food. Food has always been a big part of my life, but most of all, I have not been honest with myself or others. I have always just stuffed what I felt, I did not share with people how I really felt. I would tell people what I think they would want to hear, but really I did not tell them how I really felt.

Lately, I have been able to tell my feelings and not what they want to hear, but how I really feel. I have said it in love and not in anger, but I am tired of feeling like I am walked on. And really this stemmed from my mom. I wanted her to love me so much that I told her what she wanted to hear. I am now going to pray about it and then I am going to confront it in love. And I do have some loose ends that I need to address and mend.

So for now, I am not going to stuff my feelings and then fill it with food. I am going to take out the middle man, food, and bring in the ultimate man God. Thanks for your prayer and the encouragement. I need it. Love Tanya