Oh, I can not believe that I have not blogged in so long. I think it is time to start back up. I have felt like I am just existing right now and I need to get my feelings out. We had a dear relative die this week, and I have to tell you I am so happy for her because she is sitting next to Jesus right now. But, I am also upset with myself for letting business stop me from seeing her while she was alive. I have dealt so with this guilt all week. I know that guilt is not of God and my relative would not be so happy to know that this is my sorrow right now. But I have to confess that guilt was there before she died. So much has been going on in my life and I have felt guilty about many things. The board and I have made the decision to close the doors of the center. Now, we will be available for emergencies. But the doors of the pregnancy center will be closed. And I feel guilty about this. Of all the people that have been directors I closed it. It is eating me inside and I feel like I have not only let others down, but that I let God down. And through all of this guilt I have built a wall of shame around myself. Like the scarlet letter, I have a big G planted on me. I really need your prayers for healing and I just need to pull down this wall. It is something I am going through right now. And I hope that all of you do know that God closes window and opens door.

I have also learned this week that this is where satan gets me. He gets me with guilt. He uses everything to make me stumble. My conversations, my relationships, my feelings towards God. He knows just what to do, and frankly I am tired of it. I need prayer for this bondage to be broken. I am tired of this bondage and I want a new life and be a new creation in God. Please just pray for me this week. I hope that this touches someone, God has many promises of freedom from bondage and I believe that guilt is one of them. God bless all of you and thanks for the prayers. Love Tanya