Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I am a foreigner

"In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me. Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue. What shall be given unto thee? or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue? Sharp arrows of the mighty, with coals of juniper. Woe is me, that I sojourn in Mesech, that I dwell in the tents of Kadar! My soul hath long dwelt with him that hateth peace. I am for peace: but when I speak, they are for war." Psalm 120

As I said in my last post, I am doing a study by Beth Moore on the Ascent of the Psalms. The first Psalm is 120. As I read through this psalm, I was taken by the fifth verse. I could not understand what it meant until I read further into the study. What it is saying here is that the psalmist is a foreigner in the land. I was so intrigued by this. Lately, I have really been feeling disconnected to some of my christian friends and some of the people that I come in contact at the Pregnancy center or other placed that I go. At first I thought maybe it was just me, but after I really looked at the psalm and really prayed over it, I realized that I am a foreigner in the land. I am here to tell people truth and spread the gospel. I am not always going to connect with my friends or family on certain subjects. I am not to be weaved into this world, but to further the Kingdom of my Jesus. My home is with Jesus when He takes me home. I am just leasing for now. I realized that maybe that is why I am not totally content to live here in Red Oak, it is not that I want to pack right now and leave. But I am looking forward to go home and be with Jesus. I feel a focus coming on and my heart pointing more north.
So, the first step that I have taken is: My contentment will come from the Lord.
As I focus on Him, he will give me the contentment and show me the directions that he wants me to go. So, I need to focus on the Lord always.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

What a week!

When I started this blog, I decided that it was going to be filled with truth. I have to say, I did not realize how that word was going to be such a change in my life.

I have been meeting with two other ladies on Saturday morning for the last couple of years. We have done some awesome bible studies and some that were a little mediocre. Well, lately the three of us have really felt lead to study one of Beth Moore's studies on Psalms of the Ascent.

From the time the three of us came to an agreement, we have had been hitting several brick walls. For instance, one of the gals that is in our group is Susan over at houseful of maidens, well one day I went over to her house to down load the Beth Moore Videos. We had a heck of a time and we finally had to pray over the computer and then we had to pray again to finish the down loads. It was such a stressful day. Then we went to the other gals house last weekend and prayed in every room of her house. By time we all came home, Jeff and Luke were coming down with some kind of cold and then I caught it and them Melanie got it. I was so warn out from the week. This morning was the first meeting and Susan's husband could not get the computer to work, I was still a little under the weather, but I showed up. And the other lady was also not feeling so well, but she showed up. We finally got the dvd running and I tell you it was so worth it.

Beth Moore is going to use the temple in Jerusalem and the Psalms from 120-134 to take each step every other day. I will be looking over Psalm 120 one day and then the next day. It is like moving my right foot up one step on one day, and then the next day I move the left foot on the same step. Each step will be like growing closure to Jesus. There will be fifteen steps in all. I so want to become closure to Jesus, but I am a little apprehensive. I know I will need to give Jesus all of me or just walk away from this. This is really scary for me. But, I am also feeling that it is time to stop justifying behavior and action that I have been toying with. I am not fooling God, I may fool my friends but not God. And this deeply does hurt me. The last Beth Moore study I did, it really floored me. I am ready for that again, bring on the growth.

So, when I take a walk closure to God, it seems like I get oposition from the enemy. He does not want me to get closure to God. Well, I have news for you Satan, stand back because here comes Jesus and I.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Lately I have to admit that I have been struggling with negativity. From the views of the news, events targeting my family and my friend's family, financial strains and illness, etc. In fact I really have to monitor what I watch on TV, because I can either get caught up in it or negative from what I am watching.

Romans 12:2
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God."

I have realized that I need to relocate my focus. If my mind is focused on the world, I feel no hope. But when I switch my focus back on God I feel hope, love, joy, peace and mercy. Which brings me to the subject of my post. Worship, again I would like to define this word from the "New Century Dictionary of 1952"


1.Honorable character or standing, dignity, or credit.

2. Honor paid, respect, or deference.

3. Reverence honor and homage paid to God or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.

4. Formal or ceremonial vendering of such honor and homage.

5. Adoring reverence or regard felt or shown towards any person or thing. (hero worship)

6. Idolatrous devotion; also, the object of adoring reverence or regard.

7. To render religious reverence and homage, as to deity or at a shrine; attend services of divine worship.

8. To feel an adoring reverence or regard.

I believe God wants my focus to be of worship and praise. In fact I was invited to two different Beth Moore studies. Now, if you have ever done a Beth Moore study, she is deep. One study was on "David" and the other is "Worship and Praise through the Psalm." I really had to pray about this, I love "David", but I felt God pulling me to "Worship".

Psalm 30:1-4
"I will extol thee, O Lord; for thou hast lifted me up and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed. O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his holiness."

Psalm 30:11-12
"Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sack clothes and girded me with gladness. To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever."

I believe that God wants my focus on praise and worship. My heart is burdened for coming days, so therefore I need to pray. But I am not going to be focused on the days, but on my God. Who will get me through this as I lift His name on high and worship Him.


Sunday, February 8, 2009

Personal Convictions

Lately, I have been pondering the word or action of conviction. What is conviction, and how does it relate to the word? And with that conviction do I have the right to force it upon others or is it just for me? So, I looked up the word conviction in the 1952 "New Century Dictionary."

1. The act of convicting, as before a legal tribunal, or the fact or state of being convicted.

2. The act of convincing, or bringing to a recognition of the truth of a thing, or the state of being convinced; settled persuasion, a fixed or firm belief.

3. The fact of being convicted or convinced of wrong doing or sin; religious compunction.

First of all, I would like to high light on fixed or firm belief from the above definition. My fixed or firm belief comes directly from the word of God. I believe that the word is true and living. Every part of the bible is true.

"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness."
1 Timothy 3:16

"Jesus answered and said unto them, ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God." Matthew 22:29

Everyday I sit down to read my bible, as I do the Holy Spirit brings thing to my mind. Sometimes it is directly from the word. An example would be to respect my husband.

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

This is truth from the word of God. Therefore, I need to ask the Holy Spirit to convict me, to change me in this area. But there are some convictions that are not biblical and yet I feel the Holy Spirit prompting me to change. I believe this would be a personal conviction. For example; the bible does not talk about the different translations of the word. I am purely going on the Revelation verse.

"For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, if any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book. And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophesy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book." Revelation 22:18-19

Personally, I am a King James Version kind of gal. Why, you may ask, my husband stands firm on it and I started doing my own research and found it to be more accurate. Now I will tell you, I do not try to force this down other people's throats. If someone asks me, I will talk to them and show them my conversion chart. But, I will not force this upon others. My husband showed me facts and reason, but he still let me read my NIV. I came to the conclusion through conviction of the Holy Spirit.

Look if I made a big deal about what translation you were reading, would I be furthering God's Kingdom? Nothing hurts my heart more than two Christians fighting over personal conviction or just the word of God, period. Is it biblical, no. Did you bring the lost to God through that fight? No. In fact now you may have more people not interested in being a christian.

Lets face it, if you were a lost person, would you be interested in being a christian if you had to cut your hair, or not cut your hair. Not able to wear make up, wear dresses all the time, no jewelry, can not listen to certain music, can not eat certain foods, read only the KJV, NIV etc, or have to let go of all your friends and family.

These are personal convictions, some yes are in the bible, some are not. I believe that it boils down to this, read the word, pray and let the Holy Spirit work in you and me. We can not shove personal convictions on others. I will share it with others, but I do not believe that it is for others. And if another is touched by what I said, then praise God. But, I need not shove it down on others. They will have personal convictions of their own.


Friday, February 6, 2009

tongues vs. Prophecy

A while back our family attended a church that promoted the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Through this baptism you would receive tongues and other gifts from the bible. I walked up to the alter the first Sunday that I was there to receive the gift and walked away not speaking in tongues, but having a better understanding of the scriptures. It was really awesome, and later I did receive tongues. I have lately been thinking about this gift that was so important to this church, but not with other churches that I had attended. Then I stumbled upon this website, The author Brandon talked about how Prophecy was more important than tongues. So I looked it up and here is a scripture from Paul that I found.

"Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy. For he that speak in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understand him: howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries. But he that prophesieth speak unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort. He that speaketh in an unknown tongue edifies himself; but he that prophesieth edificeth the church."
1 Corinthians 14:1-4

From this passage, speaking in tongues only edifies God and I. It does not edify the church. Paul talks later on in this passage about edification of the church. I believe this should be the focus of the congregation as a whole. We need to be edify our churches and not worried about speaking in tongues. There are wonderful churches out there that are falling to the world, because the church is so worried about speaking in tongues or other gifts and not focused on what God wants for that church or that warnings are not being corrected. If you look at the old testament, the whole last part of the book is minor and major prophets warning the children of Israel to repent and turn back to God. Now, if this was not important to God, why would He have it placed in His Holy Word. I believe our focus should be about praying and being used as prophets. And I know the word talks about women being quiet in the church, but I believe that God will use you. You can tell your husband what God has shown you, or I believe that you can contact your minister and discuss it with Him. Just really pray on this, I know God has plans for all of us. Love Tanya