I am Christ Bride

I have been down the last couple of days with a cold. It has really wiped me out. During this time I have been really praying about what God wants from me. But one of the things He has been reminded me of is the fact that I am His bride. And that I need to be ready. It was also mentioned in the Breaking Free Book that a group of us are doing right now. I really have looked to Him with different eyes and the Word Of God has really hit my heart like and arrow to a bull's eye. I do need to be ready for Him, I believe the time is nearer than any of us can even imagine. I am honored to be His bride and I am so at awe at Him and why Me? I am blessed and in love with a wonderful Creator, Awesome Redeemer and Healer. And I will be up in no time with His help. May my God be with you and always with you, for He is awesome. Love Tanya

The Spirit vs the flesh

I really love to watch Kent Hovind, he is a great creationist who really loves the Lord. If you do not know who Kent Hovind is go here . Any ways, the reason I posted this video is, at the end of it he does a rubber band demonstration. The demonstration is really good and it really spoke to me the other day when we watched the video again. Remember to turn off my music so that you can hear it. Enjoy.

I am more up beat then I was in my last post. I do think that God has been showing me more about myself, It is a journey. I have to share something that happen to me this morning and made me look at my Lord in such a different way. In John 11:1-44, it is the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. I realized two things while reading this, the first thing I realized it that I am like Mary, I will sit and bask in God's glory. I love testimonies of others, I love to read God's word and see revelations in my life and I love to see the movement of Jesus upon lost people. I am right up there with Mary. I would of found the oil and anointed Jesus just like Mary did, I would of even been on the verge of obsession with Jesus. Another thing that I realized by reading this passage is the fact that Jesus is the Resurrection and life, I am not sure how many times I read this and this morning I got it.

John 11:24-27 "Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day. Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believe in me though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever live and believe in me shall never die. Believes thou this? She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ. The Son of God, which should come into the world."

Jesus is the resurrection, he could raise the dead right there and right now if he chose to. Why wait until the day of resurrection, He would just do it. Why not, He is God, He can do what he wants as long as it glorifies His Father. It just made so much sense. Why have I not seen it before? Well, I was not ready, I was full of self and lately I have realized that this flesh has got to be controlled by the spirit. And through these revelations I have seen lots of things. It has really opened my eyes to the power of my Lord. Awesome.

So when you go to the bible, let the Spirit lead you, you might be surprised at what you walk away knowing. After all knowledge is power and wisdom comes from the Lord. Amen

Oh, I can not believe that I have not blogged in so long. I think it is time to start back up. I have felt like I am just existing right now and I need to get my feelings out. We had a dear relative die this week, and I have to tell you I am so happy for her because she is sitting next to Jesus right now. But, I am also upset with myself for letting business stop me from seeing her while she was alive. I have dealt so with this guilt all week. I know that guilt is not of God and my relative would not be so happy to know that this is my sorrow right now. But I have to confess that guilt was there before she died. So much has been going on in my life and I have felt guilty about many things. The board and I have made the decision to close the doors of the center. Now, we will be available for emergencies. But the doors of the pregnancy center will be closed. And I feel guilty about this. Of all the people that have been directors I closed it. It is eating me inside and I feel like I have not only let others down, but that I let God down. And through all of this guilt I have built a wall of shame around myself. Like the scarlet letter, I have a big G planted on me. I really need your prayers for healing and I just need to pull down this wall. It is something I am going through right now. And I hope that all of you do know that God closes window and opens door.

I have also learned this week that this is where satan gets me. He gets me with guilt. He uses everything to make me stumble. My conversations, my relationships, my feelings towards God. He knows just what to do, and frankly I am tired of it. I need prayer for this bondage to be broken. I am tired of this bondage and I want a new life and be a new creation in God. Please just pray for me this week. I hope that this touches someone, God has many promises of freedom from bondage and I believe that guilt is one of them. God bless all of you and thanks for the prayers. Love Tanya

*Note: there was a misspelled word and it made the post look weird. I am writing Thank you notes to women who have let me pamper them through Mary Kay. Sorry.

I have been thinking about praising and Thanking God. When I was in basic training in the Army, every Sunday I would go to church and come back to the barracks and write countless letters to friends and family. I remember at the time asking for prayers to make it through and I would thank God everyday that I made it through another day of basic. I am now writing out Thank you notes to women who have given me a chance to pamper them. It is so cool to write out my feeling to them and let them know how much I appreciate them. I wonder to myself how often I do this to God.

How many times in a day do I thank God? I fall short sometimes in thanking God for every opportunity. For instance, how many times do I thank God for a green light, when in actually I should thank God for that red light. It gives me time to pray or look around me. Thank God for every breath that I take or thanking God for those diving appointments.

I have found things about myself lately that I am not sure I really like. I have been thanking my Lord for these revelations. In actuality I can not change on my own, I have to have God with me the whole way. Thank yous and praise are so important in my walk with God, I am thankful for breath and red lights. Most of all I am thankful that God shows me my downfalls. How could I ever change to be a better person if I did not listen to God.

In the end, I am not perfect and I do not want anyone to view me as such. I am a person who is walking this earth until the day I am face to face with my awesome savior. Until then, I am going to get to know Him and I am going to live my life to please only Him. I THANK YOU GOD for showing me all of your ways. Love Tanya